Buy a whole pad of these awesome time sheets: http://tinyurl.com/2btjbm8 – I use one every day at work.

Sql server hates me I’m pretty sure.
I think it’s resentful of all those Oracle classes i took in school,

To me, story wins over mechanics: my Dungeons center around hilarious, improbable, deep-seated personality flaws http://bit.ly/dipq58

DAMNIT! This is a BACKslash \ because it leans BACKward! This is a FRONTslash / because it DOESN’T!

Ask for 6-Sigma when you need someone to manufacture torque wrenches, milligram scales, or bicycle shifters – not build a website.

So what if it’s fake—A pretty lady doing a funny thing is worthy of my brief attention you guys. http://tinyurl.com/2d343yx

Outlook is about to crash. #obvious #prognostication

starbucks burnt my green tea – tastes like lawn clippings. #firstworldproblem

Charlatan, Martyr, Hustler http://bit.ly/aaTSvu

You guys I want to emphasize he was trying to escape from me – I don’t understand why my enjoyment of 2nd hand pipe smoke terrified him!